March 06, 2006

Sub Pop Gets Pissed Jeans After Liz Phair Shenanigans!

Damn cobnobbling lamestains! It was reported--much to this writer's shock,a nd to the shock of those that heard this little bit of fiction--that Sub Pop had signed a one-night stand with the infamous Blow Job Queen and, on March 14th, would be releasing an EP entitled The Living Corpse. This EP, consisting of outtakes from her most recent album, was to pair up Ms. Phair with Jack Endino and John Goodmanson (aka the Matrix of Grunge). But, of course, it turns out that such a thing wasn't true. After all, Poneman is a true gentleman and he has a sense of decency, Dwarves records notwithstanding. (This prank, while funny, wasn't as funny as the Mary J. Blige/Henry Rollins Sub Pop Singles Club duet on "Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing" hoax.) Here's the track listing, losers!

The Living Corpse tracklist

The Knowing
Compromising Positions
Stop By

After seeing those in the know to piss their jeans from utter shock, Sub Pop decided to capitalize on the urine-stained wack slacks of the rock journalist intelligentsia, by signing...Pissed Jeans! Yep, that's right, Sub Pop has decided to revert to the days of yore, wherein they would sign utterly unknown bands with limited commercial appeal and make them huge superstars. Though all we really know about this band is that they're from Allentown, Pennsylvania, they've released a single and an album, and that Sub Pop recognizes the commercial appeal of a band that considers themselves avatars to making music "to bludgeon the listener with dull, monotonous droning rock music that just sucks the energy out of you, the musical equivalent to watching a toilet flush." They will be releasing a seven inch single in the summer and a full length in the fall. So, congrats to Sub Pop! It seems as though Poneman's found this generation's answer to Earth...

Listen To: "Closet Marine"

You can also download some more noise-rock goodness via their MySpace site....

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