Jesus saved me at the record show. Said indie rock is the way to go. With folded arms and vacant stares. Shoegazing kiddies that just don't care.
So Jesus said "I will save them all". Between the sets in a bathroom stall. Twee kittens, punkers, and emo, too. I saved Elf Power and I'll save you.
And I don't care if you whine or rock. If you play Fender or Rickenbach(er). Just get on stage and go make some noise. For indie girlies and indie boys.
Those are lyrics from "Jesus Saved Me at the Record Show", the first track of the debut L.A. Tool and Die album, Fashion for the Evildoer. There you have what just might be an updated version of "Gimme Indie Rock". Just like the Sebadoh classic, you have an indie band temporarily detaching itself from the scene as a whole and singing a reverent, yet sarcasm-tinged tribute to it. Any band who can write a witty meta-indie rock song like this must be something special, right?
Well, I don't know that's necessarily true, but L.A. Tool and Die is something special. History will not recognize them to be the sort of groundbreakers that Sebadoh was, but they've certainly managed to be at least a little unique. Se, what's innovative about L.A. Tool and Die is that they seamlessly combine classical music influence with traditional twee pop motifs; they're like Tullycraft with a bassoon player. In fact they do have a bassoon player, in addition to the standard guitar, bass, drums, and synth. Besides that, they use a harpsichord sound on a couple of their songs. I don't think I've heard a band that sounds quite like them.
Lyrically, they're probably one of the cutest, most sugary all-male bands that you'll ever hear. Their geekiness approaches that of Tullycraft, and their saccharine content approaches that of Cub or the All Girl Summer Fun Band. Right after "Jesus Saved Me at the Record Show", there's an instant sugar rush with "Galaxy High School", a song about a boy and a girl in love at a high school in space, which has the refrain, "Beep Beep Radio Man Play a song for me. And tell me that our love was meant to be." Then comes "I'll Give You Three", with the basic premise, "For every kiss you give me, I'll give you three." Besides that, there's a cover of the Sparks' "Eaten By the Monster of Love". If you've never heard that song, I'm sure you could still imagine how cutesy it is. They also have a little ditty called "The Bunny Song". In case you don't know, the bunny is the second most twee creature in the animal kingdom, after the cat, so you know that song has to be cute. And yes, there is a little reference in that song to the oft-used metaphor of the bunny's incredible libido.
And you want some geekiness? You'll definitely find it on the album's only breakup song, "Lucky For Me". In the chorus, they sing, "And it's really not cool, but I'll kiss you goodbye. And I'll help you pack your records, CDs, Tapes, & 45s." Only geeks think of dividing up the record collection in a time like that. In addition, there's the Nintendocore (or Ataricore?) "Game Over" at the end of the album, a song of video game addiction complete with references to Ms. Pac Man and Donkey Kong.
The only problems I have with this album are two songs that show off the band's perverted side. And if you didn't realize it before, L.A. Tool and Die is named after an industrial-themed '70s gay porn film, so it would be a surprise if they didn't have a perverted side. One song, "Flat on My Back", is about a down-on-his-luck delinquent who accepts his inevitable journey to prison by saying, "And yes, I'll be a good prison wife, you bet. So trade me for cigarettes." Maybe other people would really enjoy that song, but I don't have as much an affinity for sadistic humor as other people do. Besides that, there's a song about gay pedophilia called "Boy Hairdresser". Now, maybe this song is written from the point of view of a young girl, but considering the inspiration for the band's name, I doubt it. I don't know, but I just can't get into that song because the little space reserved in my heart for songs about gay pedophilia has been completely filled up by the Frogs' classic, "Baby Greaser George".
However, I can't hold those two songs against L.A. Tool and Die too much, because the rest of the album is perfect. At least, it's perfect for all the twee kittens. Perfect if you want some more sugar in your musical diet.
--Eric Wolf
Artist Website: http://www.latoolanddie.com/
Label Website: http://www.aajrecords.com/
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