bishop allen 'charm school'

These nerds rock! Yeah, indeed Bishop Allen rule the cool school in 2003, 2002 or whatever year matters to you! "Quirky" and "offbeat" are terms that really don't do them justice, because those can be kind of dismissive. But I'm telling you, my friend, Bishop Allen's the band you've wanted for a long time, and your wait is now over. I'm telling you, if you've always wanted a Modest Mouse without the stench of body odor and cheap liquor, or a Pavement without the overwhelming desire to smack the smirk off of Stephen Malkmus, then Bishop Allen are certainly the band you want.

I mentioned two other bands that are good, but they're not anything like Bishop Allen, and the 'len, as I like to refer to them, aren't a darn thing like those two, either. Bishop Allen slip through the pigeonholes quite nicely, with their hair and their skinny ties left intact, and if you're not smiling a big one when it's all over, then, my friend, you have some personal issues that need to be taken care of--or you have muscular problems which prevent you from doing so. (Please accept our apologies if this is the case, no offense meant.) Their songs are some of the bestest sing-song sing-a-longs that I've heard in years, my friend, and I'm almost afraid to listen to it in my car now, because I don't wanna risk the lives of others simply because I'm wrapped up in this record.

I'm telling you, it took me exactly one listen to Charm School to be hooked on Bishop Allen, and it took exactly two listens before such wonderful songs as "Eve of Destruction," "Little Black Ache," "Empire City," "Penitentiary Bound," and "Quarter to Three" permanantly burned on to my tounge, my heart, and my mind. I sing along every time I listen to this record, and I'm pretty sure you will, too. That is, of course, if you let 'em in to your heart. But I think I summed up Bishop Allen best when I finally took my enthusiasm online. I said this, and I think it's perfectly true; go out and buy this record now to realize that I speak the truth when I say:

Bishop Allen--your life needs it.

Well, actually, your life needs oxygen first. Then maybe a little food. Some water would be nice (these pretzels are making me thirsty), and maybe a little love. A roof over your head might not be bad, either. A job would be nice, but not really required.

Then you need Bishop Allen.

It's not spam, because there's meat in it!

Truer words have yet to be uttered.


--Joseph Kyle

p.s., I'm not going to give you any answers to the pop quiz. Honor system, you know.