Rye Coalition "Jersey Girls"

HELLLL YEAH! This is total and utter male slut rock, as dirty as that dude who works in the back at the bowling alley, and as hard as that biker dude who's hitting on you and your girlfriend. Macho, in-your-face, balls to the wall rock and roll that rides you raw, assumes that you're dead in the alleyway, and leaves you wanting more, more MORE!!!!!!!!! Think I'm speaking in hyperbole? Why, my friend, are Jersey's finest now currently ripping it up live across the country with Queens of the Stone Age, who currently are one of the best damn rock bands, period?

It's simple, really. Rye Coalition rock! They have a certain crunchiness that hasn't been seen in ages (not since Karp, at least), and that, my friend is refreshing. I might have seemed dismissive of their previous album, last year's comeback On Top, but that was only because I wasn't in the right state of mind to really appreciate what they're doing. Rye Coalition are guys who want to rock and roll all night and party every day, and their music is a full-tilt realization of their desires. They like their cars fast (DUDE DIG THAT KILLER TRANS AM ON THE COVER, I want that airbrushed on my van!), their women hot and slutty, and their rock classic. Literally. All of these songs have either drug references ("Stop Me While I'm Smoking," "Snow Job" or references back to rock and roll ("Break Wind and Fire," "Communication Breakdance," "Speed Metal Tap Dancer," "ZZ Topless," and my favorite, "Paradise by the Marlboro Light."), and ALL OF THESE SONGS WERE CREATED BY THE HAMMER OF THE ROCK GODS. I'm serious, man; if this were 17 years ago, they'd be on Capitol, on tour with LA Guns, and they'd be on Decline of Western Civilization, Volume Two, drinking Jack Daniels.

Musically, they aren't really doing anything they didn't do on last year's On Top. Not surprising, as two of these songs came from a limited-edition seven incher that was released before the album came out, and "Stop Eating While I'm Smoking" is from the album. (What, no "Whole Lotta Rosie" from the Sub Pop 7"? Man, that's some hot shit, why'd you leave it off?) The other four songs also seem to date from that time as well, but you really don't care...you're ass is being rocked, and, dude the rock NEVER ages or expires! My only advice to these guys now, though, is to be careful with those flashpots and check the ID's of those cute young thangs that come backstage now. And, dudes, keep up the cock and roll!

--Joseph Kyle