October 06, 2002

Hawaii Show "The Hawaii Show"

Ah, rock and roll! The main problem with music today is that people have totally lost touch with the fact that Rock Music Is The Devil's Music. Quote me on that, baby. Pre-fab sex appeal and spending hundreds of dollars on fashion doth not evil make, nor does a ton of pancake base. You have to have rock music in yr soul, baby, in order to fully "rock out."

You may or may not remember Lifter Puller, a band whose antics onstage and in real life were the thing of legend. Hell, you may have even seen them on Jenny Jones, during the brief time that Jenny Jones was Punk Rock and she had that awful blonde with Manic Panic red hair--right before she realized that she was a Black woman. Anyway, Lifter Puller rocked, thanks in large part to one Steve Dude, a ladies man and the man you want/don't want at your next kegger. Male whore or simply an expert? It's not for me to judge, man.

You never see Mr. Hawaii Dude and Steve Dude in the same place, what's up with that? I think that Steve Dude might just dig Mr. Hawaii Dude's thing. Hawaii Dude doesn't realize that metal--big hair pop metal--doesn't exactly warrant the vixens like it used to--it's poison, you trixter! That was a painfully stupid thing of me to write, but it also fits the subject of The Hawaii Show quite well. Mr. Hawaii Dude is set on bringing back the attitude of those days, where a dude could be a dude, where Sam Malone was a role-model for children, and boozing and banging wasn't a lifestyle promoted just by boring little thugs talkin' about da bling-bling.

The Hawaii Show is packed full of hits--hard-rocking hits, such as "Super Fucked Up!" and "The Babysitter." He's got the rock in him, his metal is heavy, and his hormones set on "fuck me." I'm also partial to the little moments, like "Commercial Break" and "The Booty Call." For you hardcore fans, there's a recording of a recent press conference, and it shows how much the press is all about wanting to know more about this hard-rock enigma. Mr. Hawaii Dude is the man who is going to knock out all of this pop crap and creep-rock that we call nu-metal, and is going to storm the charts. After all, his buddy Har Mar Superstar is poised to blow up the R&B world, and it's only fitting that Mr. Hawaii Dude will be the man to bring back Rock Music. Remember, kids, you read about it here first....

PS. If you've got a computer, there's also some excellent videos, too. If you don't got a computer that can do this for you, you can visit his website at thehawaiishow.com to download them.

--Joseph Kyle

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